


Professor Crackpot and his Marvelous Motor Car

by CozyMittens



Series: Seasons at Cherry Tree Lane [3]
Category: Chitty Chitty Bang Bang - All Media Types, Mary Poppins (Movies)
Genre: Gen, WWII
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-07
Updated: 2020-08-07
Packaged: 2021-03-05 04:41:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,522
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25138633
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CozyMittens/pseuds/CozyMittens
Summary: It was strange that Jack and Ian were friends.  The differences in their rank, family background, and lifestyles were enough to guarantee it shouldn't have happened.  But war does that sometimes and the most unlikely people wind up inspiring creativity in the other.
Relationships: Bert & Jack (Mary Poppins), Jane Banks & Jack
Series: Seasons at Cherry Tree Lane [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1738504
Kudos: 8





	Professor Crackpot and his Marvelous Motor Car

“Jack how are you. Good to see you up and about.”

“Ian,” Jack acknowledged the man in uniform. His own uniform was not nearly as pristine, but then Ian hadn’t been sick with pneumonia for the last month. Jack dreaded going back on duty when the doctor gave him the all clear. The rooms of the Admiralty were blue with tobacco smoke and Jack could hardly walk in the fresh air of the park without doubling over with a coughing spasm. However, he needed to give his wife a break. Between caring for Jack and the children Jane was exhausted. Bert had taken one look and offered to take Freddie and Al to the park. Annabel could watch the baby while Jane got some much needed sleep.

Jack elected to accompany Bert. He was going stir crazy in the house and the doctor said he could start doing more things if he had the energy. The walk over to the park was about all he could manage. He sat on the bench watching Bert and the children playing on the other side of the small ornamental pond and tried to ignore the damaged buildings around him. 

Ian was in a sociable mood. He joined Jack on the bench and caught him up on the doings at the Admiralty as they watched Bert and the children running across the grass making all sorts of mechanical noises. “Is that your father?” Ian asked. “He has a lot of energy for a man his age.”

Jack nodded. “Bert’s like Merlin,” he said. ‘He’s aging backward. I may actually be older than he is now. I certainly feel like it.”

“What are they playing at?”

“Professor Crackpot and his marvelous motor car,” Jack replied.

“Really? It looks more like they’re flying an aeroplane.”

“Oh the car flies,” said Jack. “And swims. It shoots bad guys and has rockets in the engine. It does just about everything.”

Just then Al looked across the pond and saw his father talking to a stranger. Outgoing and social like Jack, he immediately left his grandfather and headed over to make a new friend. Climbing on to Jack’s lap he looked over at Ian. “Hello,” he said happily noting Ian’s uniform. “Do you work with my papa?”

“I do,” said Ian. “I’m glad he’s feeling better. His work is very important and we all want him to come back soon.”

Jack suppressed an exhausted sigh. His language skills in Spanish and German had been put to the test over the last few years. Though Spain was technically neutral, German operatives and sympathizers were actively working in the country. He had spent long hours over a desk listening in and decoding hundreds of messages in both languages. It had been tortuous work for Jack who hated sitting still and longed to be up and doing something active while his friends were all on the front lines. His only comfort was the belief that what he was doing was helping to save lives. He thought of Angus who was over in Sicily right now. He hoped the last project he had worked on had done some good.

“What do you do at Daddy’s work?” asked Al.

“I tell stories,” said Ian.

“Like Mommy?”

“Not quite,” explained Ian. “I make up stories for Hitler and then I hope he believes them.”

“Did you know Daddy’s friend? The one that died.”

“I’m not sure,” said Ian.

“Major Martin. My brother’s named after him.”

“Would that be Major William Martin?” asked Ian looking oddly at Jack. “I did know him. Not as well as your daddy did. It was very sad when his plane crashed.” He looked at Al. “Do you call your brother William or Bill?”

“Neither,” said Jack breaking in, “Jane knew someone named William she didn’t like so we settled on Martin.” Jack thought about Major Martin and all the things he had done on the major’s behalf. Jack had provided him with theatre tickets and a St. Christopher medal, gave him his cigarette rations and trekked to a jewelry store to make a purchase for him. By the time of the crash Jack had known more about Major Martin than most of the people he worked with day to day. Small wonder that he had started to think him as a friend. The major’s body had been recovered off the Spanish coast in May and Jack had followed the radio chatter for two weeks trying to find out if the papers the major had been carrying had been read by the Germans. Jack wasn’t sure what impulse had led him to suggest Martin as a name for their new son, but Jane had liked it. And for better or worse it was now the baby’s name.

“Well that’s very interesting…,” said Ian. He might have said more but just then Freddie came running up. 

“Help us Papa!” she shrieked. “We’re being chased by robbers!”

“Robbers!” exclaimed Jack. “Quick hide behind the bench! I’ll protect you.”

Freddie dove behind the bench as Bert came huffing and puffing after her. 

“Hide Grandpa! Hide! Before the robbers get us!” She called.

Bert bent over with his hands on his knees. “Give me a minute,” he wheezed. “I need to catch my breath.” He looked up at Jack and Ian smiling. “I’m not as young as I used to be that’s for sure.”

“Bert,” said Jack, “Did I ever introduce you to my friend Ian? Ian, this is my father, Herbert Alfred otherwise known in the family as Professor Crackpot.”

“No, not Professor Crackpot,” said Ian rising to shake Bert’s hand. “Do I have the honor of addressing Commander Caractacus Pott, the great inventor, lately retired from the Royal Navy?”

Bert paused a fraction of a second than slid quickly into the game. “Yes,” he answered. “Perhaps you’ve read my file at the Admiralty.”

“I have,” said Ian, “And very interesting it is. May I ask why you are being chased by robbers. Are they trying to steal your marvelous motor car?”

“No,” said Freddie popping out from behind the bench. “They’re trying to steal our sugar rations so they can make fudge!”

“That’s dreadful!” said Ian. Then looking down at the little girl he asked, “Do you even know what fudge is?”

“No,” said Freddie. “It’s supposed to be something you eat.” She looked at Jack. “Did I ever have fudge Papa?”

“Not since you were very little, and Al has never had it,” said Jack. “Ellen used to make it at Christmas for my birthday.”

“I must be going,” said Ian looking at his watch. Commander.” he said saluting Bert. “It has been an honor. Jack, I hope to see you soon and best of luck with the new addition to your family.”

Bert and Jack watched him as he made his way out of the park headed back to the Admiralty. “Nice fellow,” said Bert. “Quite the imagination.” Jack nodded absently. He was surprised Ian had stayed so long speaking with the children. Though maybe the combination of food and gadgetry had appealed to Ian’s imagination. Bert, thought Jack, had no idea how good that imagination was.

After another hour of play Bert led the happy children home as Jack followed more slowly behind. Once home he lay down on the sofa and closed his eyes, only dimly aware when Bert came in later and covered him with a blanket. Jack slept soundly for the rest of the afternoon and Bert sat next to him keeping watch as he had so many other times when Jack had been small and had needed him to be close. Once a parent always a parent thought Bert. The feelings never went away even when the son had children of his own and the dark hair was starting to turn silver around the edges.

Towards evening Jane came into the room to close the blackout curtains. Jack stirred and opened his eyes. His wife looked much more rested than the last time he had seen her. She smiled and leaned down to kiss him. “Good news,” she said. “Mary heard from Angus. He’s all right.” Relieved Jack smiled back at her then became conscious of the hubbub in the kitchen. “What’s going on?” he asked.

“We got a surprise package from your friend Ian,” said Jane. “I’m not sure how he did it or if it’s legal but we intend to destroy all the evidence.”

“Why, what did he send?”

“A pound of sugar, half a pound of butter and a packet of cocoa,” said Jane. “Ellen is ecstatic and tonight we are having fudge.”

“Fudge?!” said Jack, “really?”

“Yes, really,” said Jane. “He even included a recipe. That man is full of surprises.”

“Yes, he is,” said Jack. “Someday I expect he’ll write a book.” Jack thought about the kind of book Ian would write. It would be full of gadgets and adventure and definitely not the kind he would ever let the children read.

“Did you ever tell me his last name?” asked Bert. “If you did I don’t remember.”

“Fleming,” said Jack. “Ian Fleming.”

**Author's Note:**

> Ingredients for Ian Fleming’s fudge recipe found at the end of the book Chitty Chitty Bang Bang.
> 
> 1 lb granulated sugar  
> 1 small can evaporated milk  
> ¼ lb finest butter  
> 1 Tbs water  
> 1 Tbs corn sirup  
> 4 Tbs unsweetened chocolate
> 
> Major William Martin is a fictional character dreamed up by Ian Fleming and brought to life by Ewan Montagu and Charles Cholmondeley. For more information on Major Martin do a google search on WWII Operation Mincemeat and see what comes up. Sometimes real life is stranger than fiction.


End file.
